Why the blog?

I am in the midst of creating a website for blended families. It is called BlendingMyFamily.com. The idea of the site is to provide the public a source to turn to that is not self-promoting or one dimensional. The objective is for it to have journalistic approach with different professional opinions and a variety of real life situations. Eventually, the website will have a blog component. However, I am in a blended family and need an outlet for my day to day experiences.

I am not able to start from the beginning of my story because it seems that I would never catch up to today's successes and struggles, All families have their history, challenges and rewards. It so happens I am in a blended family and would like to share what I can and hopefully hear from others. Maybe some good will come of it, whether it be insight or simple ideas to get through the day to day struggles.

I have 6 kids. If I have to break them down in term's of today's English language, I have 2 children, 3 stepchildren, and 1 mutual child (the "our" baby). My stepchildren feel as though they are "mine." They call me mom, they are with us half the time and, with the exception of 1 child, I changed all of their diapers. The one I did not help potty train was barely 5 years old when we came into each other's lives. I like to think that I gave birth to him when he was 5. The children's ages ranges from 3 to 13. I am very fortunate to have started a blended family when all the kids were so young because they all feel like my own. They get along incredibly well and I rarely hear them refer to each other using the "step"term, unless they are in a situation that requires it. I am thankful for that. Some of that may have to do with the fact that my husband and I always refer to them as each other's brother and sister. The kids have a baby brother and I am not even sure if they know of the term "half brother." I am not even sure I would allow the term to be used because there is an unnecessary mental division that is made when it is used. There was a time, when the baby was born, my husband's former wife, "R", told the kids that he was not really their brother because they did not share the same mother. This was hurtful to the whole family but most of all to my S-kids. I have to say that the biggest challenge we have in blending a family is R. It seems textbook, doesn't it? I have to clarify that she is really the only one that makes things more challenging than what it needs to be. She has a serious control issue that I would even say is on the border of a personality disorder. She is amazing though. She is able to make this outstanding appearance to be a part of the team. She goes to great lengths to put on a show that she goes beyond what many people could not do under her circumstances. Unfortunately, her persona and inner person is nowhere alike. It takes awhile, but it shows through and it especially is apparent when you see that the kids are suffering. R demands control and to be loved the most by her kids and she will do whatever it takes to get there, even if that means hurting her kids because she is unable to go that one more step to see the long term consequences of her actions. As far as my former husband "P", we all get along very well and talk with each other a few times a week about everything to make sure that we are all on the same page and have the same goals in respect to the children.

There are always going to be challenges, it comes down to acceptance. I obviously accept them because I am in a situation that brings them, although, it does not always feel good. I am thankful that the good moments outweigh the bad, then I know that I am going in the right direction.